I'm Not Crazy

Sadie (our beautiful dog) is shedding horribly. I don't ever remember a summer where she has shed so badly. I vacuum the house and Sadie daily, yet every morning, there are piles of fur all over her room. We got more paperwork completed for our dossier and it all needs corrected. Every piece of our dossier so far has had to be done at least twice. It's driving me crazy.

Gracie talks a mile a minute. She hasn't learned not to interrupt, so it doesn't matter if I'm on the phone, or if Jared and I are trying to have a rare conversation, or I'm chatting with a friend. If she has something to say (and she always does), she talks. And she just gets louder and louder if I don't answer. Eventually, she shouts "Do you hear me?" or "You know that, Mommy?". She has tantrums every day. If a small thing does not go her way, it could be a full melt down. Sometimes I think I'm going crazy.

Liam is into everything. He has figured out child locks and can get into all of the cabinets. If a crayon is left out, he finds it and colors on the wall. Or the couch. Or the table. If a crayon is not left out, he opens the cabinet where the crayons are and gets one out. If you put them up high, he drags a chair over and climbs like a monkey and gets one out. He can open the pantry and get out his snacks, he can open the fridge and get out his milk cup to hide for a fun game. He takes the canister off the vacuum, he empties trash cans. He is much more adventurous than Gracie ever was. I never know what he'll get into next. My whole day feels like it's just trying to stay a step ahead of him and keep him safe. It makes me crazy.

And yet, here I am, pursuing adding a third child to our family. And totally on purpose. It's not even like I can pretend it's an accident or unexpected. When we started telling people we are adopting, I could see it in their faces, though no one says it. "She must be crazy!" I know, because I've thought it too. I've thought it about others who seemed to have their hands so full and then announced a pregnancy. Like when Liam was 6 months old and not sleeping through the night yet and I was trying to potty train Gracie and a friend announced that soon they would soon know what it felt like to have two kids just 2 years apart and for some reason, I couldn't stop laughing. I've thought it about myself when I'm at the park and my eyes are darting every direction just trying to keep an eye on each kid and there's no way I can have any sort of conversation with any other adult for fear my curious wanderer might wander away or my brave climber will climb too high and hurt himself and I wonder if you get a third eye with a third child.

It's true. I might be crazy. At the very least, I'm probably on my way there. But to remind myself and whoever else is a feeling a little crazy today, here is what I love about being a mommy.

1. Giggles. There's nothing to compare it to. Try to be grumpy around a giggling baby/toddler. I dare you. :)
2. Snuggles. Falling asleep with a baby on my chest, cuddling up to a toddler or preschooler.
3. Imagination. Gracie daily turns me into a princess, queen, prince, villain, animals, etc. Her magic wand can do anything!
4. Art. Coloring, sidewalk chalk, finger paint.... Yes, please.
5. Innocence. They sing, they dance. They don't care what other people think or if their hair is brushed or their clothes match.
7. Wonder. Watching the fireworks, dancing in the rain, building a snowman, running through the sprinkler, Christmas morning. Do it all again for the first time.

I'm adding another one because I love being part of all these amazing things they do. Today I love Gracie running down the sidewalk so joyfully, her hair blowing behind her. I love watching Liam trying to do somersaults and how he claps for himself even though all he did was fall over.

I guess I'm not crazy. I'm just a mom.